Over the past 25 years, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time working with individuals, couples, and families. Grounded in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Family Systems, my early training emphasized working with either the individual or the relational system—whether that was a couple or a family. While there are different schools of thought on combining individual and relational work, the prevailing view among many of my colleagues and supervisors was that doing both could create conflicts of interest. Concerns about confidentiality, maintaining neutrality, and avoiding the perception of “taking sides” often made this approach seem ethically and clinically complicated.
From time to time, I would meet individually with one partner or family member, but these sessions were generally brief and intended to support the broader relational work rather than becoming an ongoing part of therapy.
Everything changed when I began training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT). RLT views individual healing and relational healing as inseparable. Rather than alternating between individual therapy and couples or family therapy, the work often unfolds with everyone present. At times, one partner or family member may explore a painful life experience, longstanding relational pattern, or unresolved trauma while the other members remain actively engaged in the process. This creates an opportunity for each person not only to understand the other’s experience more deeply, but also to learn how to respond with greater empathy, accountability, and compassion.
This shared therapeutic experience can be profoundly healing. Rather than one person carrying their pain alone, healing takes place within the relationship itself. As the therapist, I help create a space where vulnerability can be met with understanding rather than defensiveness, while also modelling healthy communication, emotional honesty, effective listening, and respectful challenge. These moments often become powerful corrective emotional experiences that strengthen the relationship while fostering individual growth.
As I continue to develop my practice, I intend to integrate Relational Life Therapy whenever it is clinically appropriate. I believe it offers a comprehensive, experiential, and deeply relational approach that not only helps individuals heal, but also empowers couples and families to create healthier, more authentic, and more resilient relationships together.
To learn more about Ron visit his webpage, to book therapy with Ron visit his booking page.
Ron Fast, Registered Psychotherapist
